Over the last month, even the last few weeks, something has been made so clear to me. Something I was getting so wrong and I thank God that he doesn't just leave me to continue to get it wrong, instead he shows me in the most loving way that I am wrong and that this is really how it is meant to look like, act like or be like.
For the last nine months I have went to my church looking at its faults and problem and since the church is the people of God I've been looking at how we as people mess up. I’ve been looking at how my pastors lead our church, how the women of church do like a good little gossip and how the men are quite happy to sit and let the ladies lead. How maybe the teaching didn't quite fill me or how it all seemed a bit fake.(including myself)
So I started reading acts looking at what church was about, how I as a 20 something single girl can serve my church, love my church and most of all find out what church is REALLY about.
For many months I felt frustrated with church and reluctant to go. I was reading my bible and not really being able to put the pieces together, how did church look so different now than in the days of ACTs?
Even when the church in Acts fails and starts to fall apart and not function as it once did it still looked very different to the experience of church I was having.
So I continue to look at my church not with the judgemental eyes and hardened heart I had a few months before. This time I could see that everything was in place for my church to function like the church in acts except my church just had it in many different programs
We have shorts for the children in nursery to learn all about God
Which followed in to factory?
Then youth
Then core
Then women together, sates, full house, creative house
And finally for the older members of our church we had RAF (retired and free)
We also ran alpha courses, membership classes, new convert classes and even house groups
So really there is SOMETHING for EVERYONE
Despite all this I still felt hungry for more, even though I was serving in different areas and part of a house group I still wanted more from church I wanted it to be more than a list of option, more than a Sunday gig. So I carried on still unsure of what to make of my journey and still unsatisfied with church.
So its August and a lot is about to change in my life My best friends were getting married and moving to Cardiff, my house group was ending after four amazing years, my oldest friend Judith was moving to New Zealand for a Year, my good friend Sophie found out she was going to China for four months and many other friends where getting married or going back to uni
And for the first time in a very long time it was clear that things were changing and God was moving.
My core group of friends had been halved in a few weeks leaving only a few of us behind.
David my boyfriend (who is just great by the way) was very excited by this, for the new opportunities and plan that God had for us here in Bangor. I on the other hand was nervous scared and not really coping very well with the idea of having to grow up.
It was in this time that God softened my hardened heart and showed me the meaning of the church.
You see with all these people leaving church became alive again; people cared and showed their love for the people that were leaving. They prayed and offered support and this wasn’t down to the many programs this was the love and joy and peace and passion that god had given these people coming out and showing itself!
While reading acts I had forgotten what it was about ACTING OUT, showing the people round you the love and joy and kindness and mercy that God has shown you and this is church!
In Acts church was the place where people came back to after they were out on mission. They shared and built up and encouraged one another, they kept each other accountable and didn’t let people go it alone they went side by side supporting the widows and families not because they had to but because the love and mercy God had shown them was contagious they could not do it if they tried.
And when people seen this they wanted to know why and when they found out about God they wanted to know more about God.
Since this little revelation God has challenged me every time I am in church to make it personal realise that these people are my family and I not only have tell them I love them but I have to show them. So that means praying for the people beside even after they have gone up for prayer, eating together, encouraging the people around me who are serving, giving people a bit more of my time but most importantly getting intimate with God everyday because that is the only way I can show true love to these people to my church.
My God's not dead he is ALIVE so my church shall be ALIVE and that means I have to be DEAD to religion and alive for God, Alive and active in my church not Fake or pretending but real searching for truth and living each day for God, getting out of my comfort zone and into the God- zone which is never comfortable or easy but its where I would rather be.
Very excited about my FAMILY OF GOD
And I do love them very much
I pray God would continue to show me more about church and what it meant to look like
Oh and please pray for my firends mention who are continuing on their God Adventure else where int he world
We are family joined together by the most precious & pure blood of all
no one can separate us from this love
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